


Talks of Trauma

by stonerbella (LilLesbianLauren)



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilLesbianLauren/pseuds/stonerbella
Summary: PROMPT:would you be able to do a scene in eclipse from bellas POV where her and edward are talking through the events that happened in new moon in order to maintain a healthy relationship? i feel like this was really missing/glossed over in the books
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Talks of Trauma

This was such a challenge for me, because I haven’t written anything hetero in a LONG TIME. But it was a good challenge and by the end I was happy for the chance to write Bella a moment to be strong.

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I woke up to cold hands on my face. I could feel the sticky sheets under my body— I was sweating. Again. As I began to calm down I became aware that I was clinging on to something, or someone rather. The owner of the cold hands had now made their way from my face to my shoulders, rubbing them soothingly. There was a voice in my ear then, murmuring softly. “You’re OK. I’m here.” My voice was shaky as I replied, still not totally convinced I was even awake. “I was in the woods again. Alone.” That last word came out almost accusatory, angry.

Suddenly the voice and the hands were gone, retracted in shame. That only made it worse. My eyes snapped open, fully awake now. “Bella I-“ he started to speak but i cut him off. His apologies hadn’t helped over the past weeks, no matter matter how grand or romantic they had been. “No,” i said. “My turn.” He opened his mouth to object but promptly closed it after reading the look on my face. My resolve wavered for a moment. He was trying his best.

“No.” I said aloud, startling both of us. I ran with it. “Look, your apologies are appreciated, really. But nice words and fancy things aren’t gonna stop the panic attacks.” I looked down at myself, my clothes and the bed around me damp with the tangible evidence of my inner battles. I shook off the sheets tangled around my legs. “Or the night terrors. Or my inability to be alone for a single moment. Do you know what its like making sure someone is there everytime i want to shower? Or pee? It’s never ending. I thought the worst was over when i found you again but it was just the beginning.”

“Bella I’m so sorry, I will never-“ i cut him off again, I wasn’t done. “You seized complete control of our relationship without telling me and ended it in the same breath. I get it, you’re a vampire. You’re used to being superior in all regards. And I realize this was our first relationship on both sides but I’m going to make this very clear. Vampire or not, we are equals in this relationship. You have no authority to make decisions on my behalf and you most certainly do not have the ability to make huge life decisions- that greatly impact both parties no less- without talking to me. You tore the world from beneath my feet with no warning and left me alone in the woods to clean up the mess. And you didn’t just leave alone. No, you took my support system with you. Left me to drown here with my father.” I shuddered at the thought. “Poor Charlie. He didn’t sleep through the night once while you were gone. He was up with me every night. Every night i woke up screaming your name and he sat right there by my side.” I paused to look at him. His hands were in his lap, his face emotionless, and his body still. “And now you’re back, holding and comforting me while i tend to my wounds. But you caused these wounds in the first place, Edward.” I sighed, this was harder than I had intended. “You have no idea how badly i want to go back to the way things were. But i cant. Because the Bella you left behind isn’t the same Bella you came home to. I can’t just sit here and pretend that everytime i feel okay for a moment, i dont get terrified it will all go away again.” I paused again, this time for a long while.

Finally, he broke the silence. “What can I do?” He asked simply. I thought about his question and after a moment i replied. “Be here. But know its not like before. We lost that the minute you walked away. Be accountable. Be aware of the consequences of your choices. Stop apologizing with words- I don’t want to hear it. Show me. Know that its not gonna be okay or the same as it was for a while, if ever. But most importantly know that you will never have that sort of power over me ever again. Because nobody will have that much influence on my life. My world will never consist of just one person. Nobody will have the power to break me ever again.” I took a deep breath, scooting forward to take his hands in mine. He let me. “I’m still broken. I’m seeing a therapist, but its going to take a while to put me back together again. But if you really are staying here for a while, I suppose you can help me make sure the peices are in the right places and all the glue stays dry.” A small smile appeared on his face as he took me into his arms, guiding us back to lay on the bed. I closed my eyes and felt the pulls of sleep tugging at me. “Bella once again I am so-“ he started to apologize, but stopped himself and instead just whispered,

“Goodnight.”


End file.
